Counselling International
Couple therapy
All couples or intimate partners experience at some point a conflict between the needs/wishes of one versus those of the partner/others, or the dilemma of reconciling an individual need for freedom or autonomy with a need for interdependency and belonging. Couple therapy can help to explore all this and more, to clarify interaction patterns and to improve communication.
Cultural/ political/ spiritual/societal influences all play a role in intimate relationships, as do common patterns of interaction and strongly held beliefs or values from respective families of origin. In couple therapy, attention can be directed towards communication patterns and contextual family life: ways conflicts are dealt with or pushed aside, attachments formed and emotions expressed.
In the exploring stage partners are encouraged to express their experience of the relationship: what is/is not working, what is positive, what needs to change/why? In the next stage these views can be further examined, partners can get to know each other and themselves better than before and become aware of what they have in common, what causes friction. Then options can be explored, tasks (re-) negotiated, and positive changes made towards effective communication that leads to increased mutual and individual satisfaction and wellbeing.
Goals of couple therapy can vary, but may include:
- a more comfortable level of trust/ reduction of tension
- more mutually satisfying intimacy (emotional and physical)
- more positive self-view and mutual appreciation
- improved interaction with children/ family/ in-laws
- better coping mechanisms for dealing with ongoing parenting demands
- how to rebuild trust after upsetting incidents (disloyalty/infidelity)
Exploring the difficulties together can help deepen understanding and empathy towards your partner and yourself and can really enrich the relationship.
Couple therapy tends to start with 5 weekly sessions of 1 hour that can be repeated as long as it seems necessary or useful.